Once, when I was in high school, I got jumped on a street car. I got away with my wallet, but while I was walking away, one of them clubbed me in the back of my head and I bled everywhere.
For about twelve months, my mind was obsessed with the idea of finding those guys and getting revenge. It was a super elemental feeling that had no basis in my rational mind.
I think about that when I hear stories of constant harassment or assault. If the assaults occur more than once a year, then people are going to develop permanent ways of thinking.
I “healed” and moved on with my life because I don’t get assaulted more than once every 30 years. But some other groups, women and black drivers for instance, don’t get to ever heal.
I think that for many white men, the best “emotional empathy” they can get to is to think back to a time when they were jumped in middle school or high school. How did that feel? How long did those feelings last? How long were you on guard for? If that happened to you every month, how much of your mental energy would go toward being on guard?